To put the cart before the horse is an analogy
for doing things in the wrong order. Wikipedia link
Meds & Acceptance
I have found that there are two things that prevent people from getting better after a brain injury or a mental illness; acceptance and medication compliance. The local University of Calgary was doing a research study on attempting to reach people when they were in a pro-drome before they had a complete and utter episodic break from reality that landed them for the most part in the emergency department. This is extremely ambitious.
For people with brain injuries from a car accident, the very idea of taking medications, ‘like crazy people’ can be abhorrent. Accepting the fact that your brain may be injured or ill is a complete overhaul of a person’s self-identity and people do not like to lose. Ever. When their memory lets them down a few times and they begin losing interest in all of their regular activities life becomes grim indeed. Add in constant mood swings, panic attacks, symptom’s of psychosis, ADD, PTSD or whatever realm Psychiatrists own and you have a deeply touching personal crisis.
Support & Understanding
A personal crisis that affects a family, their school or workplace and everyone they come in contact with. Today we have peer support, where people are supported through the steps from someone else who has done this. We at Painttosafety.com are kind of a peer supporter, but not in the traditional sense. We are independent of the healthcare and education systems. There is a class of people who have accepted their situation and are medicinally compliant. There are those who have taken the steps to get back to work or school and begin to make an effort. I want you!
You really need to understand that the societal system we live in is designed to have winners and losers. Reward for the successful risk takers and a setback for those who need to learn before trying again. Those who do not try at all will have to accept the reality of mediocrity. But hold on, before you assume the majority of people who are mediocre are really in essence ‘not-winners’, let’s consider this thought. What if many of those who are mediocre are really mediocre superstars.
Mediocrity & Superstars
If I was a healthy production painter I would have produced 1 212 120 square feet of space painted or the equivalent of 10 100 rooms. A production painter works on a crew of 3 and they paint 1000 square feet per day. (Assume my share of 333 square feet per day, times 260 work days, times my 14 years worked.) My actual numbers are 900 000 square feet equaling 7500 bedrooms and I certainly can’t work 260 days. Perhaps half that. In perspective it seems my numbers for someone with a serious brain injury or mental illness are slightly high. How ill could I really be? Very, trust me. I did learn to spray for one thing. Completing work at high efficiency meant more work done in less time. It’s odd to be grateful and with so much effort to be back to mediocrity but with a better attitude
It is very hard for kids to grow up in the world today. With full access to information but no understanding of its usefulness or the value of hard work. And the idea of working to support yourself when parents and grandparents earn so much, they really do not comprehend sometimes the freedom of being responsible for yourself. You can be anything you want if you will apply yourself. Apply means do the work.
Be Responsible Rebel’s
Prior to the internet with mentors and training, Instructors would allow new knowledge only if you did the work first. Everything was in preordained stages. I hated this. I wanted to learn to be a professional hockey player all on my own. And a mogul ski racer. And a person who could win no matter what life threw at me. I was completely rebellious. After living large and having a lifestyle conducive to brain injuries and mental illness (car accidents and drugs) I had to take responsibility for my life regardless of weather I caused the situation or not. So upon waking up in the hospital bed skinny, tired, broken and ill for what may be my entire life. How is one supposed to feel? Perhaps like I had wasted an opportunity or my life in general. Perhaps like I may have hurt many people and needed to do better. A tremendous weight of responsibility descended on me and so many others in similar situations. How to make things right.
I was very very lucky. I didn’t kill myself or anyone else. Consider Mathew Degrood who in psychosis killed 5 young people. The police dogs could not take him down that night. But he had to wake up sometime and the weight of reality would certainly take him down. Maybe some people need to screw up before they can succeed. I know our traditional means of education seems absolutely screwy to our kids. Why do we have to be in this ‘place’ that is inefficient and boring of all things. And repetitive. And boring. Maybe we have learned that freedom without responsibility is no freedom at all but chaos and personal indulgence.
So we take freedom away from the young and make them earn it back. Little by little allow them to grow into their own capacity. My father always told me that we rise to our level of capacity. Or put another way, we grow until we cannot go further due to own limitations. It is in societies best interest to let people grow out of their childish ways and be responsible for themselves, their kids and their families.
Raise Your Kids or Raise Your Grandchildren
Don’t spoil your kids! The internet puts the cart before the horse by saying here’s the information let’s see what you can do with it to our children. But then overwhelms with more and more, and piles B.S. on top of that. Our kids are sold on the fact that they can have everything their parents can afford. And they perceive families as winners and losers through this lens.
The old way of character building through hard rigorous competitive study is a very proven method to separate the wheat from the chaf. And Entrepreneurship also challenges the cream to rise to the top. But both of these come at a high cost of time, energy and money.
A shortcut is having kids and keeping up with the wants of the Internet. Most cannot attain this and this limitation allows kids not to be spoiled. It is another perfected way to rise to the top as a parent and I was grateful for the challenge I wouldn’t have had if I didn’t get up from being ill. Your kids are the why we get up.
An Attitude of Gratitude
After awaking in the hospital I had gratitude for the opportunity to struggle and fail, and if the stars line up and the Red Bull gods allow it. I came to look at things this way – how many people get to be put in this position. It’s the ninth inning of game 7 of the World Series. You’re down 2 runs with two men on base. You have 2 strikes and 3 balls already. You have one chance to hit a home run and win the Championship! But not anyone’s championship – Yours!!! Your very own cliche of I’ve walked a thousand miles begins with a single step through mountains and brush to get to this one moment. Nobody is watching, but you know, you are grateful for the chance and the opportunity to be the one person in your own life to give it some real personal meaning.
So here’s that moment. I’ll ask my students before we start – do you care? And will you try? Let’s accept that we’re where we are and take the meds we’re given. Let’s realize we’re not alone and that we have supports. Let’s assume if we try we can become at least mediocre superstars. and beyond that let’s be grateful for the opportunity to try again. Being grateful for our lives and what we are given is; some health, some family, some hope and perhaps a small dream. You see the only thing worse than being bombarded by ads to buy things is to be completely ignored because you cannot afford anything at all (because you are broke ill or injured). So come painting with me, earn some money and put your life back together. Right now I’m the only company pitching you to try our course. Read the next blog ‘Painttosafety.com & Your Alternatives.’
Cheers!
Kurt Killen
